One of my friend from church sent me a Christian Comic that he drew and I found it really meaningful.
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Archive for the ‘Stories’ Category
Unlovable
For years I ached for my past and identity to be revealed to me. Who am I? Trapped inside this isolated mountain, narrowed in the far north of an unknown country that still remains nameless to my knowledge. Is the world still turning? Does the sun still shine in the garden where I was meant to be blooming from? How long do I need to wait, drowning in this loneliness and being wrapped in the most frightening darkness that’s already beginning to be my companion before my 18th birthday tomorrow? But my loneliness remained as friendly enemies.
My name, Xilon, engraved by burnt marks above my left breast below my strange *^ shape birthmark is the only thing I have of evidence that I once belonged. I speak English because I often hear travellers chatting on the surface of this mountain while I remain trapped underneath inside this cave, but at night I dream of a language I can never understand – untranslatable except for the sound “Xilon” being heard again and again. Born with glowing pink hair and extremely white skin, slightly pointed nose and framed eyes is my appearance that I see in the water reflections. I live with my three guardians, they’re like my parents, ironically younger than me, Sora, Riku and Axel, all aged around seven. I work for them, preparing food each day but there are many things I still don’t know; such as where are they all from? Are they my parents? Which nationality am I? These are all questions I’ve never dared to ask.
“Rise and shine!” Riku pulled back my long hair, while Axel began jumping on my shoulder as I lay asleep. “It’s your birthday today and we need your help to prepare a special meal for you! Sora is having a bad time trying to get all the ingredients,” Riku squawked, his voice like sharp melodic stones.
“Axel, my wings are hurting!” I groaned and sat up. The thing that haunts most is that I have petite wings about the size of two hands you see, shaped like the ones of blue butterflies at the back near my waist. It can be mistaken for a tattoo but it has life even though I can’t control its movement. None of my guardians has it and I question myself into deep thoughts what the purpose of it are. Am I mutated or something?
Midday arrived even though the light in my world is always dark and cold. I was ordered to smile and party – forcing my loneliness to fade, but it made it worst. That night when ordered to sleep there was an urge inside me telling me to rise up to find my secrets. The smell of something sugary and grassy lingered by my pebble bed and that stole my heart to leave this area. “I must get out of here! I want to see the sun tonight! I want to leave this mountain!” I fumed. I reached the end of this mountain, crossed the bridge where smoke rises from the bottom and many other tunnels that I have already mastered. “There must be an exit!” I shuddered in hope. “There must!” I kept feeling a notion telling me that this is not the place I belong though it’s the only place I’ve been. I don’t feel safe, warm, connected, accepted. I wanted to cry, to scream and feel the sanity of my own silence getting stronger until I started using my soft fingers to try digging through the walls, in despair but I was satisfied with a broken heart. Dust began to gust and my hand pulled out to let me sneeze.
It shocked me. My hand smelled – of sugar and grass – the aroma was unique and strange, and completely foreign to me. The scent felt seductive, and my desire to dig increased, and the hole got deeper and deeper. Deeper and deeper. And blood started to leak down my nails.
“Each year on a starry new Lunar night, a rose sweeter by its name will be planted for my mother’s sake,” suddenly interrupted a voice, my heart almost jumped and I pushed myself back. The voice was low, deep, but it soothed my rapid heartbeat.
“The fragrance like Mother, the time is near, and I shall return, my larvae,” the speech came again. I pulled my whole body into the wall of the hall if I’m trying to be part of it, I rolled to the right to hear the voice clearer. There was something about it that?s driving my thoughts crazy, I’m losing my control. I must hear the voice more clearer!
“Xilon will still be-,” my wings began to hurt, I collapsed to the ground, pain growing with my heartbeat and I felt my shoulders pulling me up. What is this? Someone save me! It was then I found something expanding and ascending – it was my wings gently flapping and the discomfort increased as it travelled to my vain and my inner fire began to explode. Sweat dropped, and I screamed, the echoes flying back and forth but no other ears to enter. Agony rushed through my blood stream, kicking the ground with my bare feet until I felt no longer feeling, but of pure pain.
Then it entered my soul. I don’t want to be here! I want to be free! Let me understand my record! Give me someone to be with me! Xilon, break through my destiny! I don’t want to be an outsider anymore!
I predicted the man voice to sing again, but it didn’t. I was once again left stranded, alone, lost in thoughts and once again in tears wishing to only belong in a place where my heart truly smiles.
To be continued…
Story of a Child
I sit here watching, waiting
wondering what I’ve done
I once had friends
but now I don’t
they all think I’m a monster
just because of what she wrote
she wrote of the evil and wrong things of the world
but I cry not a tear
not one
they all called me a monster
they said I didn’t care
we used to laugh
but now all they do is jeer
I sit here watching, waiting
wondering what I’ve done
I once had grandparents
but they are up above now
killed by a drunk driver
they were well respected
loved by all
I loved them so
they were my candle in a dark tunnel
but now they are up with God
because some man had to drink and drive
I sit here watching, waiting
wondering what I’ve done
I once had a dog
but now she’s under the chestnut tree
she was the most beautiful dog you ever did see
She was always there to protect me
but one day some kids thought it cool to toss a few rocks
one rock hit my Jessi right on the head
and Jessi didn’t move no more
I wanted to sue
but my parents said there’s nothing to do
I sit here watching, waiting
wondering what I’ve done
I once had parents who loved me
but now they are both in jail
Mommy didn’t cook or clean
she laid around with a
bottle of Jim Beam
She didn’t buy me new clothes
all she cared about was her Jim Beam
Daddy would come into my room late at night
he would lay next to me
when he was done and before he left he would say
“I do it because I love you so much”
Mommy didn’t love me and daddy loved me too much
soon they both started beating me
then one day at school my teacher noticed
and God bless her heart she called the cops
They put me in a foster home.
I hang here
in my foster home, in my foster room, in my foster closet
wondering what I did to get this life
I once had a life,
but not anymore.
By JesseNeo writer, Morgan.
Although this poem is not true many children’s daily life is like this, sometimes worse. If you ever see any signs of abuse do not hesitate to contact someone. You never know, you could just save a child’s life. So please call your local police. I did, and I saved a little girl’s life.
